My Papa...hanger of the moon

So, lately I've been thinking about a lot of memories...

Just an example:

Picture this: a really cute little 4 year old girl...oh, let me give you a visual:

Now, picture a Papa with legs longer than you can imagine.  To this little girl, he was the tallest person ever.  He's in his 50s...a young grandfather...and he has one granddaughter.  His #1.  This little girl follows those long legs where ever they go...to the barn, to the garden, to the back yard, to the truck...you getting the picture?

She'll go where ever he goes...even to take the trash to the dump.  In fact, riding to the dump is one of her favorite places to go with her Papa...because they get to go in the truck...just the two of them.  And her Papa sings their special song...

Papa starts: "Here we go, here we go!"

Little girl: "Here we go, here we go!"

Papa: "Down the little red road..."

Little girl: "down the little red road!"

Papa: "In the little blue truck..."

Little girl: "in the little blue truck."

Papa: "With my little Mary Anne..."

Little girl: "With my big Pop-eee."

I guess you've figured out that the little girl was me...is me.  Sometimes Papa would drive me all the way into Athens to go to Dairy Queen for a Blizzard.  They were my favorite.  My Papa still makes sure that there are cinnamon rolls at his house every time I come for a visit...cinnamon rolls without raisins...because I don't like raisins. I love Reese Cups because my Papa always made sure there were some in the refrigerator.  

There are so many memories that I have of my Papa.  He drove all the way to Rock Hill, SC to be at my high school All-State Chorus Concert.  Came all the way to Myrtle Beach when I had a lead in a musical.  Didn't miss my high school or college graduation or wedding.  My Papa drove all the way to Lexington, SC for the birth of his first great-grandson (because Samuel is in our #1 club!).  He spends hours making rice krispy treats at Christmas time - because ALL of his grandkids love them.  I can't think of anything that my Papa wouldn't do for me.

I love his blue eyes.  I love his white hair.  I love the image of him on his Farmall tractor.  I love the way he taught me to shuck corn.  I love the way he rubs his hands when he's sitting on the couch.  I love the way he answers the phone (Good morning!  Good afternoon!  Merry Christmas!).  I love the way he prays.  I love the way that his Bible is worn and tattered.  I love the way he loves my Grannie.  I love the way he walks us out to the car and waits in the driveway until he can't see our car anymore.  I love the way he loves Georgia Bulldawg football - and gives me a hard time for being a Gamecock.  I love the way that he spoils me rotten.  I love the way that he immediately recognizes my voice over the phone.  Come to think of it...I can't think about anything that I don't love about that man.

Last week, memories of my Papa flooded my mind and heart as I prayed against cancer in his colon.  Like I said, I'm pretty sure that when God created the moon, my Papa hung it in the sky.  I'm still praising God that there's no cancer because my Papa makes the world a better place...and has made me a better person.  I love you, Papa.

My Papa and Samuel

Christmas 2011 - working hard on rice krispy treats - and he told us the secret!

David Carlton holding David Brandt for the very first time...I love that smile!

 




 

Considering it all joy...

This week has been tough.

I have been anxious and scared this week.

I know better than to be anxious.  I know WHO holds tomorrow.  I know WHO holds me.  I know it in my head and I know it in my heart.  Yet, one of the gifts God gave me is a vivid imagination...and it's also one of the things that the devil likes to use as a tool to send me right into a whirlwind of anxiety. 

Two weeks ago, my primary care physician referred me to an ENT (Ear, Nose, and Throat doctor).  I have been having some issues with hoarseness/tired voice, etc.  I knew where this was headed - I had been down this road in college.  But still...anxiety was waiting to pounce.  I figured I would be waiting for weeks, but the ENT appointment was scheduled for Friday, October 26.  I was a little shocked that it would be so soon...so, I planned to take the day off of work.  Anxiety took it's seat - right in the front of my mind and made himself at home.  Stupid anxiety.  

On Monday, my Daddy sent me a text.  Now, my Daddy is a man of few words, and his texts are very similar.  The text said "Papa has a mass on his colon.  He finds out Friday if cancer.  I will be going to GA early on Fri."  And just like that - not only was anxiety already in his favorite seat, but now he was dancing all over my heart.  My Papa is my Daddy's father - and I love my Papa more than I can even begin to describe in words.  I am quite sure that when God created the moon, my Papa helped Him hang it in the sky.  There is no other man like my Papa...none. I am his first grandchild, and we have this #1 thing...because he's the oldest of his family too.  He's special. 

And now...anxiety began to reek havoc in my life.  Both my doctor's appointment and Papa's appointment were on Friday...only hours apart.  It was just Monday...so, I prayed.  Every minute I found myself whispering a prayer for my Papa.  Please, God...please no cancer.  I held it together when I was distracted by work, piano lessons, doing things for the boys, etc...but when I was alone, I became a blubbering mess.  In the shower, I cried.  Alone in my car, I cried.  Trying to fall asleep was nearly impossible - and always tearful.  I mean, I'm the mother of two boys, so I didn't have THAT much time alone..not even in the bathroom, but when I did...the tears flowed.  Thursday night was the worst.  I kept thinking of my special "anxiety verses" from the Word...you know, we all have them...or maybe just me...those that I have memorized when anxiety takes his seat...and dances around in my head.  I mean, anxiety was having a dang party this week. 

On Friday morning, my Aunt Dianne posted this verse on her FB "When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the Rock that is higher than I" - Psalm 61:2.  Yep.  I have been listening to Tamela Mann's "Take Me to the King" A LOT lately.  Powerful song.

 

Funny how God gives you just what you need when He knows you are supposed to have it.  I was all by myself on Friday morning.  I sent a FB message to some of my most precious friends, asking them to cover my Papa and me in prayer.  I couldn't read their replies because I knew it would make me cry...I read them later and cried anyway.  I knew I had to keep myself together for my doctor's appointment.  My Momma called..tried to keep it together.  Got dressed...walked downstairs and there was my Momma standing at the front door. That turkey!  Yes, I just called my Momma a turkey.  See...my Momma knows her daughter...and she knew I was scared.  And God sent her to me that morning...because He knew I needed her.  And yep, I cried.

But...when I got to the doctor's office...there was peace.  I can't explain it.  I was fine throughout the examination (well, minus the gagging and carrying on when the doctor tried to stick a mirror down my throat four times, then the tube down my nose...yes, lovely). And I'll tell you, there was even some laughter...like when I asked Mom was SHE ok...sitting back in the corner of the room listening to me gag my head off had to be a bit traumatic.  The doctor verified that I do have two small nodules (like small blisters on my vocal cords), but he said they were small.  I have a little bit of a journey ahead...speech therapy consultation...maybe even surgery.  He referred me to another doctor in the practice that deals with vocal cords. I have an appointment with her in December.  The news could have been much worse...and I was at peace.  Just have to take gentle care of my instrument...had to have a blood test to rule out some other possibilities...still waiting on that...

Momma and I ate lunch at Pawley's Front Porch...Momma said there was no way she could eat that whole burger, but she did.  And all those sweet potato fries too!  HA!  As Momma blessed the food, she prayed for Papa.  We knew that the rest of our family was at the doctor's office with Papa - waiting...then Daddy sent a text...remember, man of few words: "No cancer. Surgery soon."  Praise the Lord!  No cancer.  Hallelujah!   

All weekend, I have been praising God for His grace, His faithfulness, His provisions...praising Him for the friends that prayed for me when I didn't feel like I could pray for myself.  And do you know what's crazy!?  Tonight I had to run out to CVS and Publix...and as Tamela Mann was singing "Take Me to the King," so was I...just once...didn't want to overdo it...but I was getting my praise on because God is good...so very good to me.  And I kid you not, I have not had much a voice in weeks, but tonight I sang out to God for a whole four minutes...and I gave Him everything I had...because it's His anyway...the glory's not for us, it's all for You.

 

Well, here goes...
I read so many blogs...so many.
I tried a blog...once. 
And after reading 3 blogs today I thought how therapeutic writing a blog must be for these people...so, here goes.

Make sense to start with a brief introduction...my name is Mary Anne.  Yes, a southern-double name.  Yes, like the chick off of Gilligan's Island...and yes, my best friend's name is Ginger.  I am not kidding. 

I am married to Brad.  We met while I was on staff at Seesalt (a Christian youth camp where we ministered to teenagers through music, drama, Bible study, and recreation).  The first summer we were on staff, we liked each other...the second summer we were on staff, we fell in love.  And I'm not kidding...that summer, I knew I was going to marry him.  We've been married for a little over 10 years, and for the most part, it's been really wonderful.  :-)

We have two boys.  Samuel is 6 and David is 2.  I'm sure I'll post lots more about them, but they are the most incredible gifts that I have ever been given.  There's not a moment that goes by that I can wrap my my around the fact that God has blessed my life by allowing me to be the mother of these two, amazing, smart, energetic, crazy little men.  While I am definitely not perfect, by God's grace, I am perfectly their mother.  They rock my world...and I love being the only lady in my house.  'Tis good to be queen!

I am a music teacher at the best elementary school in the world.  I have been teaching music at my school for 10 years...that's hard to believe.  It's even better that Samuel goes to school with me every day and has had the super-best teachers at my school!  I love teaching music - reaching children through music makes my job so much fun.  Seeing the difference that music makes in their lives drives me to give them the best I have...music changed my life...but that's another blog for another day.

So, that's a brief intro...more to come...